You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.


Why Didn’t I Think Of This

For all you people who still read out there, you’ll enjoy And if you don’t, then THIS POST ISN’T FOR YOU JUST GO TO YOUTUBE ALREADY





Killer CLowns From Other Countries

I cannot possibly tell you how awesome this movie looks. Just watch


Everything, EVERYTHING tastes like chicken

Oh this is too good.

A study by scientists from Oxford University and Amsterdam University found that growing meat in a lab “rather than slaughtering animals would generate only a tiny fraction of the greenhouse gas emissions associated with conventional livestock production.”

What’s that you tree hugging hippie vegetarians? You think mother earth should be all the nutrients we need? We’ll there’s like 6 billion people in the world. Grow up. 




Thankfully big boys and girls who don’t ride bikes outside of recreational use and and love America have found that “lab-grown tissue would reduce greenhouse gases by up to 96% in comparison to raising animals. The process would require between 7% and 45% less energy than the same volume of conventionally produced meat such as pork, beef, or lamb, and could be engineered to use only 1% of the land and 4% of the water associated with conventional meat.”

So either go live in the mountains and pray the urban sprawl doesn’t run you over before you die or pop your dinner pill, THE CHOICE IS YOURS.







Where’s my fucking jetpack



Paleofuture is still one of my favorite blogs. Worth checking out if you’re still nostalgic about the yeeeaaaarrrr 2000


File Photo

Good News Everyone!!! It’s June 22 and here at the Lowlifehightech corporate offices, that can only mean one thing: PARTY TIME! Blog Co-Founder, First Tiger and President LowlifeIan is turning 23 years old today and so our 159th official post goes out to him. Let us now celebrate with, you guessed it, LISTS!

First up is the traditional “people born on the same day as you!” list.

Also celebrating a birthday today we have:

John Dillinger, american bank robber

Paul Frees,  voice of dwarf Bombur in the animated Hobbit

Bill Blass, american fashion designer

Kris Kristofferson, american actor

Brit Hume, FOX newsguy

Lindsay Wagner,  THE BIONIC WOMAN

Bruce Campbell, the man

Carson Daly, american icon

Donald Faison, Turk from scrubs

Schooly D, american rapper, narrator Aqua Teen Hunger Force, MC PeePants

Jai Rodriguez, one of the queer eye for the straight guy fags

So, a couple winners hidden in there, on to the deaths.

Famous people who died today:

Pope Innocent V, pope

Judy Garland, played Dorothy in Wizard of Oz

Fred Astaire, singer and dancer

Patricia Nixon, wife of Richard Nixon

Bob Bemer, invented the ESCape key, backslash AND {curly brackets} as well as single-handedly coming up with THE solution to the “Year 2000 Problem,” commonly known as Y2K.

George Carlin, Rufus from Bill and Ted

Not that many winners, but dont let your spirits fall just yet! By my count theres still 10 hours left in the day and famous people die all the time. Come on Charlie Sheen, you can do it!

Now on to the 23 Best Movie Death Scenes of all time!

the 23 Best Movie Death Scenes of all time!

Number 23: Catch you later Bill and Ted!

Bill and Ted are totally murdered by evil robot versions of themselves in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Number 22: That same scene from Bill and Ted! Actually, the rest of the whole list is just this one youtube video over and over. This is the only sweet death scene I could find on all of youtube, and there is something seriously wrong with that. For shame online community, for shame.

Number 21:

NUmber 20:

Number 19:

Number 18

Number 17:

Number 16:

Number 15:

Number 14:

Numbers 13 through 3:

Second Place Goes to:

And FINALLY, our winner, the number one death scene from a feature film: Catch you later Bill and Ted!!!!!

Well that was exciting, congrats to Bill and Ted on all their success.

Now it is time for our final list, and I thought we could end on a high note: People who died in their 20s. All these suckers croaked before they hit 30, some of them before before they made it to 23. Twenty something has been the last stop for many, many, many, many people. If you weren’t feeling old before you read this, you should be now. Here we go!

People who died in their twenties:

John Keats, american poet

John Wilkes Booth, american actor

Manfred Richthofen, the Red Baron


Catherine Howard, Jane Seymour and Anne Boleyn, wives of Henry VIII

Otis Redding, musician

Brandon Lee, actor

Sharon Tate, actress

River Phoenix, actor

Stephen Crane, author

Jimi Hendrix, american singer songwriter

and last but certainly not least, everyone born before the year 235

There it is folks, the best super happy birthday celebration party post ever. What could possibly top a list of lists to celebrate ones birthday? How about some stand up comedy y’all?

happy birthday old man