You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

2011? Surely you mean 1714!

This man, Heribert Illig, is the developer of the Phantom Time Hypothesis, which is quite possibly the most important conspiracy theory to come out of the early nineties. Illig claims that through intentional calendar-manipulation, Otto III and Gerbert d’Aurillac created not only the entire Carolingian period, including the person of Charlemagne, but everything that happened between AD 614–911. Yes you read that correctly. Those 295 years simply did not happen. This entirely reasonable hypothesis is based on a scarcity of archaeological evidence from that time and an “over reliance on written sources by medieval scholars.” This is without a doubt the greatest cover-up in the history of man and its about time we blow the lid off this thing. Quickly faithful readers, head to the lowlifehightech store and purchase your official 1714 calendar now! Due to a printing error the first 27 calendars sold will include the bonus months January, February AND March of 1715! Hurry now, supplies are limited!

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